Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category
My milkshake
Tuesday, March 4th, 2008Most Famous Pick-up Lines
Monday, March 3rd, 2008Lalake: Miss anong height mo?
Miss: 5′5
Lalake: Wow, ang laki mo pla.. Buti nagkasya ka sa puso ko..
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guy: hi.. is ur name summer??
girl: no.. y?
guy: cuz ur so hot…
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guy: miss marunong k bng lumangoy??
girl: i thnk so.. Y?
guy: kc bka malunod k sa pgmmhl ko e…
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guy: r u tired?? cuz u’ve been running in my head all day…
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(more…)
SBC Packer
Friday, February 29th, 2008Questions I have never been able to answer
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder……
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.”
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too!
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
D’Rubber Poem
Wednesday, January 30th, 2008kissing is a habit
fucking is a game
guys gEt dpLeasurE
gurLs gEt d pain..
d guy says:’i luv u’
y0u bliv its tru!
but when ur tummy
starts t0 sweLL.
.. He jUz says”
‘hu d heLL R u?’
5 hourz of pLeasure,
9 m0nthsin pain,
2 days in d h0spital,
aNd a baby w/o a name..
D baby s a bAstard
D m0ther s a wh0re
this wudn’t
happn if d rubber was put on! Bow..
play safe..spread ds msg, n0t d spErm..
Related links: DCWareZ
13 Reasons Not to Drink With “Friends”
Tuesday, December 11th, 2007
And the #1 reason
not to drink with “friends” ….
Smart People Test
Sunday, December 9th, 2007Test for Dementia
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can’t take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let’s find out just how clever you really are.
Ready? GO!!!
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
To answer the second question, don’t take as much time as you took for the first question.
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are…?
Third Question:
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the total?
Fourth Question:
Mary’s father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Okay, now the bonus round:
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating theaction of brushing one’s teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, howshould he express himself?
Click for Answer